Friday, March 03, 2006

Living other people's expectations

Society. norms. Culture. Tradition.Sometimes I resent these words so much. Because these things do SHAPE the expectations, perceptions, & way-of-thinking of certain close people of mine. I live and grow as a Chinese-Indonesian person, and the 'materialistic' parameter to how succesful your life is,..often is very contrasting of what I want life to be. Or, of how it seems that I must NOT say or do ANYthing that is considered 'breakaway' or unique from the Chinese family's tradition or expectations of the family. Call me a naive, idealistic person, but maybe it's all due to the 'rebellious' side of me (& my personality.
Btw, I'm an INFP person, according to the Myers-Briggs test. and yes, I DO feel like I am really an INFP! so I guess the tests are not bullshits after all (btw, I wonder, why is it so HARD for some people to believe that the tests are already used world-wide, and wouldnt be as bullshit as those horoscope reading?...or whatever other BS thing,...but definitely not this one!)) , who always seem to want to 'break-free' from all these culture BS & jargos, and expectations....and just do what I want, living my own life. Be free...as a bird (wow, Beatles' song)

That makes me want to talk about the other people's expectations of you. I don't know, but what about you? Do you like to suite your life to follow other people (perhaps MANY)'s expectations?
Or can you be positive saying that you don't give sh*ts to other people's expectations,..including culture. I must say that I honestly do envy the latter-type of people, who can & have his/her own reason, way-of-life, and brave enough to stand up for him/herself and say NO to what people expect him/her to become of....I don't know,...but sadly, for me it's reallly hard to be able to do so (stand up firm for myself & my belief), because I've experienced a lot of things in life up 'till now that often,...really can make me sad, of why I am like I am right now. Like why I am such an unique person,..that my ideas are often getting rejected, laughed, mocked at,...because they often don't meet with the culture, tradition, & other people's 'standard' expectations, of how THEY think succesful life SHOULD be!I sometimes even get to the point....where I can just hate myself,...despite of all my 'talents', uniqueness way of thinking,...or whatever.....; because ALL of these often don't meet with MANY people's expectations,...of what and how Life should Be. I know that some friends do suggest me to stop caring about what other people think, & just live your life. But maybe I am too 'soft' to experience this kind of assertiveness, to lead my own life,...or maybe I'm just too naive & 'simple-minded' , or worse,...a dreamer.
As a result, often, the close people of mine are the ones who shape my way-of-life, my destiny, ..and my future, even a lot of times I am very disagree with what they think. Sure, maybe THEY think I'd be happy, when I follow them and living to what THEY think how my life should be,...but personally & honestly,..I don't think so.
I just hate it. But up 'till now, I'm still confused, don't know what to do :(#$@%!

10 Reasons why I'm a bit 'Japanese freak"

Yes, and I am not ashamed to admit the fact that since I was introduced to 'Japanese' things/culture by one of my cousins (thanks, man!), up 'till NOW, I still love Japan for many many things. For those of you who are perplexed as to why I'm a bit "Japan-freak" , first of all, I'd like to say that NO, it's not because I just foolishly jump-into-the bandwagon of other "J-freaks" to be 'trendy, cool, "IN-style" or whatever cheesy things. I am a bit "Japan-freak" because I have these 10 reasons below, that I will list from the so-so stuff, up until the thing that I really appreciate & respect the most (even influence my life very much), respect the most of this country:

10. Fashion. I've seen so many of my female friends who like to view Japanese books/magazines on latest trend of fashion, clothing, hair-style, etc! In fact, the influence is soo big lately among the youths in 'Oriental' places like: South Korea, Taiwan, China (developing cities like Beijing, Shanghai; based from my friends' observations when chatting with me). Ask any 'funky, trendy' friend of yours who don't know the term "Shibuya-style"...!

09. Technology. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Japan is still the major influencer in the world-of-technology. Just take a look at products like cars, handphones, Mp3 players (walkman was the first-generation of portable music device like this and it was made in Japan, back in year 1979), VCD, DVD players. And Japan's the ONLY country I know who keep making this "weird-out-of-this-world-unthinkable" inventions,...like I've seen one time in 1 website, of how they invent the device to automatically roll-out the tissue everytime the person is sneezing. I know, sounds VERY weird,..but this is just 1 extreme example to illustrate the technology, 'invention'-spirit of the Japanese.And not to mention that their technology, like it or not, influence very much of our daily life! Just take a look at Sony products, and how it affects the world today!

08. The 'idols' (hehe)Now I don't want to be play innocent here. But I'm very sure that most guys (males) here in Indonesia KNOW what I'm talking about (hehe :D). Let's not play innocent here: there're SO many of my male-friends (from different backgrounds) who even have the picture of Kyoko Fukada inside his handphone! (or other 'idol' like her!). And the same with my brother's male-friends. Not only that. Many female friends of mine even idolize Ayumi Hamasaki & Utada Hikaru! So many pretty idols in Japan, and I don't want to hide that fact!:p There's even another category for 'prettiness' in Japan, called: "kawaii" girls ^^. Now take a look at how this "kawaii" image is very obvious/popular in Taiwan, Hongkong, South Korea's youth-culture, & along with that, cosmetic products. Talk about influence!

07. Language (& expressions)Anybody who've seen Japanese TV dramas, anime (Japanese cartoons), or play video games, will know what I mean by this. Trying not to sound so biased, I think it's safe to say that Japanese language is more 'lively' and 'full of expression' than any other language in this world. The level of anguish, fear, sadness, happiness,...is taken up "a-notch higher" in Japanese language. Maybe it's due to the variations of tonal/timbre of Japanese people? Perhaps....but just to give you one real example: compare Superman cartoon, with for example, the ever-famous anime Evangelion, and see the comparisons in the richness of the characters, just because of the difference in language, & expression!

06. Foods.One thing that I like so much about Japan is the 'rich art' of the foods. From Ramen, to sushi, to Shabu-shabu, Yakiniku, Gyudon....look at the "uniqueness" of how it's served! Not to mention that 90% (if not all) Japanese foods that I've tried, all are VERY delicious! and like I said before,...often served very uniquely! And it seems to me that this country takes foods & cookings very seriously, as you can see that there's EVEN an anime-series called "Born To Cook", all about cookings! And also this one movie my cousin once showed to me "The Tampopo". And right after watching that movie, seriously, I become more appreciative of Ramen. Makes me hungry!

05. The places.I've heard many of my friends who say that they want to go to Japan, because it seems like a "very nice place" to live (but yes, I know, the cost is VERY very high living there!!). Two of my best-friends even seriously considering to live in Japan. From the various multicultural, or student-exchange Internet-forums, I've almost seen NO COMPLAIN from the foreign (gaijin) people living in Japan; in fact, they seem to ENJOY living there very much! Well, maybe to some of you, this idea will not suit you very much. But to me, the answer seems like a big YES! Other than all 9 reasons I've posted this country has, the country itself has a LOT of nice, beautiful places (and not to mention, weather, as well. eg: Sakura blossoms! wowww!...) ,...and what amazes me is there's a LOT of 'trendy, funky' sites in the center of the country, MANY places where I've heard that from my friend, that music concerts are always staged EVERYDAY in different corners of the places! Wow....And the Shibuya itself, is the area where "music never dies" because everywhere you walk in the city (I've heard from my friend again), the various pop and other genre of music keep playing. And I don't even mind going to the more 'traditional' area of the country. The tatami, the plastic-door, the beautiful designs/architecture of wooden-houses during the "Samurai" era, during the Sakura/'cherry blossom's season; as often depicted in the movies, or games,...all look very astonishing!

04. Games & anime.I know there're now many games being produced outside of Japan. But will any of those games ever beat these famous titles like: Final Fantasy series(Kefka & Sephiroth, anyone?!!), Secret of Mana, Breath of Fire; and in fighting genre: Dragonball, Tekken, SoulBlade,...Devil May Cry; all with creative storyline, or sometimes graphics, actions! The origin of all great games in this world: Japan. And then in anime, again, doesn't want to sound too biased, but there's just so much unique 'genre' and 'sub-genre' of anime (Japanese cartoons), than American cartoons. The delightfullness & details of Ghibli anime, the eerie-ness and 'psychotic' level of Evangelion, Lain anime,.....no Western (or other part of the world's) cartoon can beat the intensity! In fact, those two latter animes are not like 'ordinary cartoons' ; the intensity level of anguish, fear, IMHO, is on-par with even some of the best Hollywood movies! Added to that is the 'language' factor, which seems to give more 'character-expressions' to the anime. (Note: I've NEVER heard of any movie actor anywhere in the world except Japan, that can scream as eerie & disturbing as the anime Evangelion's Shinji Ikari character! If you've found one, please tell me)

03. The culture ('hip, trendy')Now this is more to the 'abstract' reason of why I'm a bit passion of Japan: its "hip, trendy, 'youthful'" culture. Maybe it's due to my "youthful" soul that always appear in everyday life (many of my friends here at first thought that I'm 18 years old, or even 17! Is it because of my face? Or my light,easy-going soul?? You decide!), that I'm so 'connected' to the Japanese culture. The country seems to bring a MAJOR influence in the teens,young adults-world in the developing countries around the world. Fashion, music, hair-style, the 'funky-stylish' handphone, mp3 player technology, the 'invention' of the dancing games, drum, keyboard-simulation games, the karaoke culture....they all are very much in-tune with my soul! And I guess it's not only me who think like that.....like I said above, many of my friends like to go to Japan (some even decide to LIVE there!), one major factor must be of the 'cool' culture it has, that adds the effects of the nice places the country has!

02. Music! This is the VERY big reason of why I seem a bit "Japan-freak" !(not that I don't hear ANY other kind of music, eg: Indonesian, Western R&B, Chinese, etc. it's just that given choices, I'd prefer Japanese pop/rock music above anything else!)From the Japanese TV dramas like Long Vacation, Kamisama Mou Sukosidake, Love Love Love (and many many other 'little' NHK drama series that I can only see in Japan, and when I'm staying at five-star hotels around the world with many Japanese people!) to some wonderful games like Final Fantasy, Xenogears, Secret of Mana, to animes with beauutiful music like Ghibli animes, Macross Plus, Sakura Wars, to the vast talents of pop/rock artists like the "king-of-variety & pop-techniques" L'arc~en~ciel (one of my biggest influence in music!) , beautiful melodies of Maaya Sakamoto, Aiko, 'weird' chords of Shiina Ringo , and MANY many other else that I can't name one-by-one here (unless you're interested to know more)!!! .................the list is just never-ending.The instrumental music is often very nice too, characterized mainly by the beautiful, sweet melody/harmony , that often can't be found in other part of the world's instrumental/symphony music (Masaharu Iwata's & Joe Hisaishi's symphonical suites have VERY very different tone-quality & characteristics than Beethoven's & Mozart's symphonical suites). L'arc~en~ciel sounds VERY very different from the pop-bands like Linkin Park, Green Day, Sum41, Reliant K, Coldplay, Peter Pan, Dewa, Padi. The metal sound of X-Japan sounds VERY remotely different from metal sounds like Metalicca, Sepultura, System of a Down, Judas' Priest (X-Japan's metal sound has very nice, sweet 'pop-ish' melody, that even my female cousin and my mom admits to like it very much! And it's in metal-genre, ladies & gentleman!)Basically, to sum it up, 80% of my music influence comes Japanese pop/rock music (while the other 20% are credited to Korean,..& Mandarin music;...rarely Western). And just look at my 'enthusiasim' in sharing this point, I think is enough "reason" for all of you to see how fond I am of Japanese pop/rock music (and I don't do that because of some 'cheesy', cheap reasons, or no reason at all!)Not to mention that Japan seems to take music VERY seriously, unlike the country I'm living in. All the TV advertisements have the 'credits' to the music artists at the right-bottom of the ads, then I've heard from one source, that almost eachJapanese pop/rock music has a whole-group of support teams (like the stylists, the marketing team, the 'image' team) that look & sound VERY enthusiastic with the artist they're promoting! (unlike in Indonesia. it's TOTALLY a very different situation, and indeed, kinda saddening, for 'musical' people like me :=( ).......And what's more is, Japan RARELY (if never) copy other countries' music 100% alike (this is the problem with Chinese, Taiwanese music industry, where all they concentrate is just money-making, money, and money; that they almost ignore 'completly' the 'art' factor!! very very saddening! unless maybe the case of China's classical music, which is still original & deserve a round-big applause for the efforts of the players!)

01.........And you might be wondering, for a 'music' person like me, what else that can top-up the 2nd reason?? Well, the number one reason that for why I kinda like this country, is because the people, The Guts to be Different/Unique , than any other country I've known in this world! I can say this, because I've seen MANY many examples that show implicitly of how 'different' the way of Japanese people think, than the rest of the world's mindset (and yes, not all of them are GOOD. some are even really 'weird' , that I just can't stand the ideas!). From the J-pop/rock artists' commentaries, from the philosophy often embedded in the game, anime, TV-drama, and other "entertainment-world" of Japan, to some real-life Japanese friends that I've befriended during my college years in LA;....one thing that I salute the MOST, that sometime can touch my heart very deeply, is that Japanese people often have their own way-of-thinkings, principles of life, that are just soo different (and sometimes so unique) than any other culture in this world! The principles are sometimes just so admirable, and touching, beyond the realm of money & materialism. And when you've been to some 'trendy' areas in Japan, and look at the 'image' of the teenagers, young adults there, you will see that each person is trying to portray his/her 'unique style' , whether in fashion, hairstyle, way-of-talking, etc etc,....and most important of all, the quality that I really admire the most: They are not scared/afraid to be unique (different from the 'mainstream')!
.......That's a looooongg list, I know. Thanks for staying 'faithful' reading up until this point! :p
AH! One more point to make, sometimes my parents (or some people I've known) might argue like "yes, but the Japanese are cruel! They once invaded the Chinese, brainwashed the colony territory that they've had conquered in the past" etc etc. This is more to the history-perspective. But to me personally, I don't care much about the history.....I just want it to be SIMPLE, like what I can see with my own eyes NOW: the foods, the technology, the music, the fashion, the culture, etc. That's why like I said in my OTHER post about perceptions, I guess different people have different perceptions. No wonder it is sometimes like making the Sun rises from the West, when talking with my dad regarding why I like Japan so much (although I don't understand much of the language!) : my dad have different perceptions/way-of-thinking than me!
Well,....I just hope that after looking at this loong thread of mine, people will get a clearer,better picture as to why I can seem a bit like "Japan-freak" , although I'm still an open-minded person about all other cultures other than Japan. 10 reasons above are enough to support my premise, ne?